throbbing light machine

the thing about the long northern winter is that, when you get these first March thaws, even the promise of a single degree above freezing can cause massive eucatastrophic feelings about the approach of spring. imagine what it'll feel like once the temp hits 40F!

there was a really lovely thread on ffa about the problems with the poverty-finance-maturity themes of Buffy S6 that got me thinking a lot about heroic narratives and communitarian ethos. for all that the Scooby Gang are held up as a found family, imo Buffy is much more a story about isolated strength; the iconic moments that hang in my mind are all of B on her own, stripped of resources, digging even deeper into herself in order to go on. and I think about the inspiration I've drawn from that sort of thing, the "time to save yourself; no one else will save you" attitude that i've come to rely on in hard times. how much of that is maladaptive?

(the suggestion from the thread of an alternate possible thematic for Buffy's maturation, that of her dependence on/conflict with the institutional power of the Council, is totally burning up my brain. do I want to write it? I maybe want to write it, idk.)

{tred tired semester teaching exam list argh} - so pretty much the usual. Except I'm pretty sure that when George Gissing told me that "there are half a million more women than men in this happy country of ours," i.e. Victorian Britain, he was either wrong, lying, or doing some really weird shit with population statistics. Because. That can't possibly be true.

And, for a change, I am writing words that are fictiony! Which is making me so, so, so happy. And, yanno, maybe someday I'll even finish a fic and I can do that thing I used to do where I posted the words on the internet and people read them. In the meantime, meme! Ganked from everywhere, idek:

Pick a number and I'll answer the question.

1 - Your current OTP
2 - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind
3 - A pairing you have never liked and probably never will
4 - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t
5 - Have you added anything stupid/cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what
6 - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom
7 - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it
8 - Do you prefer characters from real action series or anime series
9 - Has the internet caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why
10 - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr [let's substitute LJ here for a more meaningful question in my case]
11 - How do you feel about the other people in your current fandom
12 - Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for
13 - Your favorite fanart or fanartist
14 - Your favorite fanfiction or fanauthor
15 - Choose a song at random, which OTP does it remind you of
16 - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)
17 - A ship you’ve abandoned and why
18 - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships
19 - Show us an example of your personal headcanon
20 - Do you remember what your first fanwork was?
21 - Self-rec: What's your favorite fanwork you've created?
22 - Are you one of those fans who can’t watch anything without shipping
23 - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms
24 - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms
25 - A fandom you’re in but have no ships from
26 - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go