no subject

[lotesse]

I read Zen Cho's book "Black Water Sister," and liked it very much. And experienced a lot of feelings about my own grandmother, the spiritualist, who I'd give anything to have back again to talk to.

Watched "Fiddler on the Roof" with A. He'd never seen it. What a beautifully structured work. Still makes me cry, after all this time. I played Chava in a school production when I was 13.

Lots of complicated nostalgia/homesickness emotions of late. Thinking about past loves. Reflecting on the lingering entanglement of my remote, difficult place, and how it's connected to my life and choices. Proofread a wingshooting book project, partnering w my folks' company, written by an old client of theirs who was around a lot when I was growing up. Conservative, gentlemanly. White. Familiar. Sometimes I feel like an exile, other times like an escapee.

Many of my elders are struggling with health declines this season. My father had a mini-stroke, and realized that he needs to get his blood pressure back to safe levels. He told my sister and I that it reminded him of taking acid. And others in the chosen family system have had scares and struggles. We've never gone to that little local hospital so many times in a sixmonth.

I made such a good run at my Vorkosigan WIP, and then life hit me between the eyes, and work, and I lost my momentum.

This is an unfocused little ramble of a post. I'm trying to write more in my own voice.

Comments

[senmut]

Homesickness - that feeling of missing a piece of who you were, often unobtainable, marked by places and people.

I feel this so much.

[lotesse]

That's a great definition, and a useful one. Thanks for sharing!

[greghousesgf]

my niece was Yenta the matchmaker in her high school's production of Fiddler.

[lotesse]

That would be such a fun part to play, honestly. The little weird side parts are always the most fun to get into.

[greghousesgf]

Yenta has some of the funniest lines too.

[vriddy]

I hope your loved ones get better. Wishing you well with everything!

[lotesse]

Dad's doing well, at least. He takes it seriously, now that he's woken up to some realities.

Thanks so much for the good wishes, they're always good to have :)

[princessofgeeks]

Always great to hear from you. Wishing you all the best.

[lotesse]

<3

[sophia_sol]

Yes, that novel by Cho is so good! I love the way she writes grandmothers, and I'm so sorry yours is gone

[lotesse]

She reminds us that grandmothers are never so gone as that! It may very well have been your post about the book that motivated me to put it on my list; I always appreciate your bookblogging

[sophia_sol]

ah thank you so much!