in an attempt to re-start my writing mojo
Aug. 10th, 2012 09:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lotessea meme from musesfool: Pick any passage of 500 words or less from any story I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you’d expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
musesfool: Pick any passage of 500 words or less from any story I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you’d expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
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Date: 2012-08-11 07:55 am (UTC)“Sorry for not reacting the way you expected me to,” Tony says. His voice is flatly inflected, level and low. “Nothing you ever asked for. I'll just -” and he makes as if to leave, squirming out of Steve's startled grasp and dropping to the ground, trying to push past Steve's bulk.
“Tony.” The word is a command. Steve doesn't want Tony going off in a huff, he's been trying to do better at being friends with him, and if Tony slinks off after this to lick his wounds in private everything's going to be wrong again between them. He has to explain, to tell Tony that it's okay, he's not mad, they don't have to have a big fight. Steve is glad to see, as Tony suddenly goes still and silent, that he has not lost the ability to make men jump with nothing more than his tone.
But then the moment is stretching out like taffy candy between them, slow and sweet as molasses, and Steve realizes that he has no idea where to go from there, that he doesn't know what he's doing, or what Tony's doing, or why he doesn't entirely want Tony to stop doing whatever it is, or why this moment in time feels so ridiculously overheated and supercharged. Tony, breathing hard, looks up at Steve. Steve doesn't manage to think before he speaks, and so what he actually says is, “Strip.”
I have to admit, it's that last line I'm most interested in. How did that pop out of Steve's mouth?
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Date: 2012-08-13 09:18 pm (UTC)One of the things that I love about Steve is the way his story is about getting body and mind into alignment. I read him as a very toppy person, even when he's little - all that moral righteousness! But when he's little he's struggling to manifest that authoritative identity, because the people around him always seem to assume he's going to be meek and easily pushed around. Even Bucky does it to some extent. But when his body becomes outwardly authoritative, I think that's got to have been really freeing at a level that Steve doesn't acknowledge in the text, that he's got to find a lot of pleasure in suddenly being too big to get pushed around. And - I think he enjoys pushing other people around.
So at this moment, and it's the pivot of the whole fic, really, Steve's got his authority kick going on, but being Steve he hasn't really connected authority-pleasure to sexual pleasure. And, of course, Tony HAS. Tony knows all about his own power fetishes and buttons, knows all the different ways it can be fun to play. Tony reacts to a sexual subtext to the power balance between himself and Steve, and that clicks the whole thing over into sex for Steve as well. But it's a thing that, in the first moment of feeling, his body knows better than his mind - hence the lack of verbal control. It takes his mind a little longer to put the pieces together; he ends up needing Jarvis and research and Foucault for that :)