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[lotesse]

Wild Swans

I looked in my heart while the wild swans went over.
And what did I see I had not seen before?
Only a question less or a question more;
Nothing to match the flight of wild birds flying.
Tiresome heart, forever living and dying,
House without air, I leave you and lock your door.
Wild swans, come over the town, come over
The town again, trailing your legs and crying!



Edna St. Vincent Millay

Comments

[slashfairy.livejournal.com]

how's you today? i was thinking about you, overnight, and hoping you were not still in the depths of despond.

[lotesse]

I'm ... not thinking about it. I have company coming today, my childhood best friend who I met when I was two and who was practically my sister when we were growing up, and her mom, who has always been one of my surrogate parents. It's kind of a side effect of my folks living so far away from all grandparents and aunts - we formed alternate families instead.

So I'm glad about that, and the sun is shining, and term-time is almost over. The Boy and I are going to spend a week in Chicago with my batty, beloved grandmother going to plays and museums and such. I have good things on the horizon right now.

The despond will hit again - I can feel it lurking. Dealing with the practical fallout of this is going to be really, really hard for me. But right now, I'm just getting through this week and keeping my head above water.

Thanks so much for caring about me. I have a hard time telling people when I need help, and you folk in the internet are the best support I get, because here I can talk without losing it too much. Love you.