The two major types of things I tend to have to hold other people accountable for are boundary violations and failures to meet commitment. I tend not to have a problem with the former, not sure why - I guess it's just easy for me to conceive of my boundaries as important and worth protecting, and also to view boundary violations as objective wrongs. Like, I'm doing the world a favor by teaching this person to respect boundaries, you know? Holding people responsible for commitments is harder, because everyone flakes sometimes. What I tend to do is quietly remove myself from commitments and refrain from entangling myself with them, and if they ask why, I tell them something along the lines of, "no hard feelings, I'm not mad, but I need to know you'll do X in order to do Y and you haven't been doing X".
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lotesse
no subject
Date: 2018-01-11 02:07 am (UTC)