no subject

[lotesse]

I don't how how much of this is about being re-het-partnered, how much of it is about cumulative frustration with living around my parents' vague "leftist" anti-feminism for the last few years, and how much of it is the continued fucking wound of how the country was too goddamn sexist to elect the most capable fucking leader we've ever had a chance at, pretty much -- but my feminism's got kind of a hysterical edge to it these days, I gotta tell you. Truth coming out of her well to shame mankind - style. This bubbling well of explosive anger and alienation, like it hasn't been since I was a teenager. I've been the suzy sunshine voice in my friend group in re: the chance of the Trump admin being taken down without the world ending, but I think the unvoiced pain of her non-election -- not just the fear for the world, but the bludgeoning feeling of watching an exceptionally qualified woman be ground beneath the wheel of public sexism before your eyes -- is starting to be a problem for me. But I don't know what to do with it -- the allies I have available to me are not necessarily sympathetic to that particular trauma, and, pragmatically, it feels necessary to swallow my feminist rage and work with my daddy in resistance against Trump. It's not that I'm unwilling to do what's required of me -- it's just that I notice it's warping something in me, a little bit, pulling askew

Comments

[anghraine]

Same. There are so many people (esp white leftist men) screaming about how she couldn't possibly have won the nomination on her own merits, she stole it, she's basically a Republican, why isn't she doing more, and I keep—we have to stick together now, and Berniebros and the attitudes that led them to become Berniebros is the least of our problems. But there's a lot of internal screaming.

[lotesse]

Can I just say -- thank you for being so consistently and vocally sensible about political things, it's such a relief to have someone as ideologically reliable and clearheaded as you around. We can scream together into the hole-by-the-river of the internet and maybe the wind will hear us someday.

[starlady]

In December I told my father that I would be angry for the rest of my life. Only now am I realizing that I permanently ran out of fucks on November 8th too.

There's a huge swath of white leftist men who not only don't understand the pain, but can't even hear it because they don't think it's legitimate. It's no accident that I went back to DW and tumblr; those are mostly female spaces where at least I didn't have to justify my anger and hurt, unlike Twitter or fucking FB.

[lotesse]

Yep. Although I'm also frustrated by the younger women around me -- I saw my sister last weekend, she's 26, we were talking about the current situation and she said something like, "We needed Bernie," with a sigh, and I stg I about had to swallow my tongue for the rage in it. I notice that I distrust anyone whose feminist allyship I'm not 100% solid on, whether they're well-intentioned or leftists or not.

[killabeez]

You are not alone. I'm focused elsewhere these days, given that my partner is a transwoman facing worse than any misogyny I've ever faced. But after a day spent at an anti-bathroom-bill rally, I shared a moment with my mom who got sad all over again seeing the "I'm Ready for Hillary" sticker on her own car. She said quietly to me, "I don't think I'm ever taking that off." I knew exactly how she felt, and what she meant.

[lotesse]

My thoughts are with your partner -- the last few days have been just brutal.

Your mom's sticker is choking me up. I was never brave enough to put one on my own car, and I regret it.

[princessofgeeks]

ALL THE HUGS

[lotesse]

*HUGS YOU BACK*

[ironed_orchid]

I'm not even in the US an every time certain sorts of male leftists, many of whole I actually like, post Bernie stuff or ignore the particularly gendered violence that DT endorses and represents I want to set stuff on fire.

[lotesse]

At least my dad's stopped sending me links via email -- although he's still worryingly entangled in the left-side Russia ratfuckery, idk. He was raised by card-carrying Maoist Communists, so maybe he was always going to be doomed on that front.

There's something about misogyny that seems to slide it into the background -- people don't necessarily deny it outright, but at the same time the open secrets of sexism just don't seem to really matter in a real sense. Is it because sexism is seen as a law of nature, mentioning it being like mentioning gravity, unnecessary and a waste of time? Everyone knows and no-one cares, and that feels hard and bitter and p. fucking desolate.