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lotesseI feel like an impostor. I don't belong here. I can't...oh, I don't even know what it is that I can't do. Can't organize my thoughts. Can't integrate. Can't find anything of my own in the tangle of everyone else's thoughts. I can't make and I can't understand others' makings. But I don't know what it is that I'm to do otherwise.
Oh, I know that this is just me being sick and tired and disheartened. I need to remember just to live every day. But I feel like I have to do something more than that. Like I have to do more than just be happy. I am happy. I am. I just feel guilty for not trying more, doing more, being more.
Ug. I just want to go to sleep and stop blooody well doubting myself. I'm happy. That's all that matters. I have good friends and good books and a boyfriend who loves me. I have a warm, soft bed to sleep in and as much food as I need. I'm doing it. I'm living my life and I'm happy and screw all the rest of it.
Oh, I know that this is just me being sick and tired and disheartened. I need to remember just to live every day. But I feel like I have to do something more than that. Like I have to do more than just be happy. I am happy. I am. I just feel guilty for not trying more, doing more, being more.
Ug. I just want to go to sleep and stop blooody well doubting myself. I'm happy. That's all that matters. I have good friends and good books and a boyfriend who loves me. I have a warm, soft bed to sleep in and as much food as I need. I'm doing it. I'm living my life and I'm happy and screw all the rest of it.