on an island in the blue bay

[lotesse]

Haven't posted in a bit - I've been up north with my parents, enjoying the lovely film festival with which Michael Moore has seen fit to gift my hometown. Finally seeing Much Ado About Nothing this evening, which makes me glad I waited - because it will be lovely to get to see it with my family in the lovely restored State Theater of my native downtown.

Went gliding with my father for the second time last week, and I still really really like it. Being up in the sky is lovely, and there's no noise or anything, because no engines. I envy my sister for living so close to home - tho of course she's not nearly as in to it, and despite her opportunity has only been up once. And half the fun is getting da's lessons on the mechanics of flight, which I could listen to him talk about all day. So fucking soothing. So much like rereading The Once and Future King.

Read Kameron Hurley's God's War and Infidel, which I enjoyed TREMENDOUSLY, especially the second book. I'm a long-time reader of her blog, and it was really fun getting to see her work in print. Waiting with excitement for Rapture.

Have been having thoughts about psych meds, courtesy of mama; I continue to find all the - I think five now - varieties of antidepressant I've taken fairly ineffective? I mean, I think I'm better off than I was a year ago, but I feel like a lot of that's down to other things, like me being able to run around outside more and also remembering more frequently that I am not the ubermensch and that there's no shame in resting when you need it. Kind of want to go off meds altogether, but I'm not sure if that's a bad impulse. Either way, I won't do anything without seeing my shrink, obvs, but the guy who prescribes for me is kind of a dink - very superior about traditional medicine, told me that not smoking mary jane would solve all my problems, has in two separate sessions now made cracks about me being a "big girl," fuck you very much asshat.

Comments

[princessofgeeks]

OMG you need a new prescriber. My god, that's awful.

Gliding!!! WOW!

[lotesse]

The gliding is pretty awesome, trufax. It's the next evolution of my da's lifelong fascination with windpower, which manifested through sailing when I was growing up; it's really fun being able to take what I know about using the wind on the water and seeing how the same principles propel flight.

The prescriber - is the first male person I've done counseling with, and the whole thing kind of took me aback. But what I'm not sure of is if I just need to see someone else, which I could easily do, or if the problem is more deeply rooted in psychological pharmaceuticals, which seems kind of likely considering the general massive failings of western medicine to treat whole persons. idk.

[princessofgeeks]

seriously, even given all the failings of western medicine?

IMHO, and this is just me, but it's a data point: The way this prescriber is talking to you is condescending and just wrong.

I am so sorry you got saddled with such a jerk.

If I were you I would be actively looking for someone else.

Depression is hard enough without assholes for doctors.

This is just my opinion; take it for what it's worth. I am sending you good thoughts. Ack.

[anthimeria]

I've got to agree with princessofgeeks--I'm doing traditional western therapy and even though I don't get along terribly well with the guy who runs the group I'm in, that's more of a personality clash than an issue with him.

This guy sounds like a dick and you should change. Maybe report him, if there's a way of doing that. Anyone providing mental health services should not be condescending like that! Can you get a recommendation for a new prescriber from another doctor you trust?

[elspethdixon]

The prescriber guy sounds like an unprofessional jerk - I can think of benefit-of-the-doubt explanations for the weed-related preaching (my extended family has a long and nasty history with self-medication-via-weed-or-other-drugs leading to serious addiction problems, and he might be biased from dealing with other patients in situations like that?) but there's no excuse whatsoever for making obnoxious personal comments about patients.

Went gliding with my father for the second time last week, and I still really really like it. Being up in the sky is lovely, and there's no noise or anything, because no engines.

Isn't it fun? I have a tendancy to fall asleep in small planes because of the soothing engine noise, so being back-seat balast in a glider is perfect.