the grinding wheel

[lotesse]

I need advice. I wish I had someone on faculty here that I could turn to, that I felt like I could be straight-up enough with, but I don't. So I'm turning to you guys.

This dissertation prospectus thing has been such a fucking nightmare - and I think one of the reasons is that I've been overreactive to faculty comments in terms of changing my topic. I've written up like six different projects and abandoned them. The situation as it stands now is this: I have 2/3rds of a prospectus written up about the problem of feminine sympathy and the Contagious Diseases Acts. Most of what I need to do is further primary research, pulling out some specific instances and quotes and things. My advisor likes it, because it's properly historicist - as soon as I mentioned the CD Acts in one of our meetings I could see him light up. I CAN execute the project - but I really don't want to. I just want to talk about books :(

I've done a lot of work on the sisters Brontë over the years, them being my favorites and all, and I have material on The Tenant of Wildfell Hall and Villette that could turn into chapters; I was also thinking about my Rochester-reading, picking at the bits of him that don't fit the Byronic mode. I'm sure I could find a fourth thing to work on there, probably Gondal to get Emily into the picture.

I WANT to write about the Brontës, but I also just want to get out of this hell already. Do I just need to suck it up and finish the CD Acts project and get myself the fuck out of grad school? It's been a month since I've worked on anything, recovering from the stupid unnecessary fiasco that was my August defense, and I think my internal anxiety about it all has been starting to ratchet up again. I feel guilty for not working.

(also they are STILL cutting down trees along the drive, and it's driving me mad.)

Comments

[ithiliana]

I have a strong desire to line your faculty up and smack them. (icon AIMED at faculty, not you).

You're being abused.

That being said, and with all sympathy for you and NONE for the assholes who are doing this to you, I'd say your best bet is to finish up and get the fuck out, and never look back at your dissertation.

I am totally against any system that has multiple faculty 'ruling' on whether or not a student can write X or Y topic--my advice to my students is never let faculty get in a group except for the final defenses--in my department, a student gets a director they like and want to work with, who is willing to work on the topic the student wants, and then the director, chair, and student get faculty to be on committee--but director sort of has final say--and student works primarily with advisor/director. If that's not what you have, sorry for the derail.

I give my students a specific dissertation rhetorical triangle: the audience is your committee; the purpose is to get the hell DONE with graduate school so you can get on to your real life; so write whatever the fuck they want (OK, I don't use fuck with actual students offline).

I don't think you can them--so just give them what they want and keep in mind the great stuff you can do with the Brontes and stuff after.

The sooner you can get out, the better!

*HUGS* and apologies for the academics dragging you through this.

[executrix]

Bearing in mind that I have no direct experience, never having gone to grad school...but I say YES you have to finish the CD Acts project and shake the dust of graduate school from your shoes. It is not a good idea to try to force all of your scholarly interests into a single work that is not receptive to them.

And, once you have your degree, you'll be expected to continue to publish...so your Emily-centered Bronte work can be your next publication.

[tripleransom]

I've been where you are now. It's very frustrating.

I say, do what the assholes want. If you do anything else, you will never get everybody to agree on a topic and they will pick it (and you) to death. Just suck it up, given them their cookies and get the Hell out. Later, you can write a book or articles on the Brontes if you want.

[schemingreader]

No, do not do whatever your dissertation advisors want.

It takes a long time to write a dissertation. Writing something you hate is going to be unpleasant. Once you've written it, that's your field. If you want to get a job in academia, you will have to write and speak on your dissertation to do it. You need a topic that your advisor likes, sure, but you also have to like it. You aren't taking your advisor with you everywhere in your pocket. I can't tell you what the climate is for Brontë scholars, but I imagine that you can tell me.

Anyway, the next step is to place your topic in the scholarship of the field, so it seems like reading a lot of Brontë scholarship makes sense.

Do you still want an academic job? If you do, then pick a doctoral dissertation that's interesting to you. I can't tell you what that should be. If you want to get another kind of job, don't bother with the dissertation. Take your MA, say "thank you very much," and get another kind of job. Once you have the PhD, it's harder, not easier, to find other kinds of work.

I'm confused that you mention your August defense. Defense of an MA thesis? Oral exams? To me, graduate school is a series of hurdles, usually accompanied by hazing, and it's not unusual to feel like it was unnecessarily difficult and like you're traumatized. You can lose focus on the point of the project. The point of the project is a career in academia, teaching on something at least vaguely related to the subject of your doctoral dissertation, and continuing to research and write in that field.

[princessofgeeks]

All I have is an MA, but I was definitely nudged to write my MA thesis on a topic of interest to my main advisor.

I agree that if you don't like the topic, the writing of the dissertation will be hell. Is there some way you can find a topic you and the committee both like? Is there a chair of the committee with whom you have a chance of truly communicating with? Coming to a meeting of minds? Surely they don't want you to write something you have no interest in.

I am rooting for you regardless. Grad school is so hard.

[msilverstar]

I have no specific advice on the topic, both directions make sense, just positive thoughts to you.

[tiamatschild]

I am so sorry you are in this situation. *huuuuuuugs* I don't have good advice, but I want you to know my thoughts are with you.

[ilthit]

I would say finish the CD Acts project. It sounds like it's well on the way and likely to be approved.