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Ug. I need to get going with my senior research. Unfortunately, I'm bogged down in gothic literature and feeling uninspired. I order a massive bunch of books from Amazon yesterday, which hopefully will get me going on arrival.

I'm trying to figure out why love is so important in stories. And happy endings. I mean, I know they make us happy, but I want to understand why we need them so hard. Some days I feel like I need happy endings and love stories more than I need human interaction.

I also really want to start reading Patrick O'Brian again. The read-through this weekend reminded me how passionately I love him. But, y'know. I have so much spare time. Also, I don't have a copy with me, and I think I have a lot of late fees on my public library card. End of term got kind of crazy with the taking books back on time thing.

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I think that's individual. Many of the movies I've seen that actually have an unhappy or neutral ending have gone directly to my list of favourite movies. I'm thinking of The Umbrellas of Cherbourgh, Dear Wendy, Dancer in the Dark... Of course it has to be a good movie, too; but I'm attracted by an unhappy or conflicted ending, it feels like a pay-off or a justification; it feels special in this sea of predictably happy endings.

I do find love stories interesting, as asides of adventure stories. I don't know why. It gives it a nice spice.

So many people love Patrick O'Brian! It feels odd that I don't. I mean, it's entertaining enough, and I admit it's very well written and with a unique style of storytelling, but yeah. I'd rather read Wodehouse.

See, I can remember being terribly not-okay in the space between finishing RotK and getting to the part in the Appendices where Sam sails too, because I couldn't bear how said it was.

Different strokes, eh?

O'Brian does two things for me. First, I'm a sailor's girl, living away from my boat and my big water, and reading about the sea helps ease that. And then I'm also kind of in love with Jack Aubrey.

I cried and I thought it was wonderful, but then I also think Frodo should have stayed. Oh well.

Yeah, so is Gilly. I don't know if she loves ships because of O'Brian or if shiplove helps her like O'Brian, but she's definitely in love with Jack Aubrey and has admitted that if he was real and interested and would have her on now other terms, I would get the boot. Most Aubreyad fangirls seem to fixate on Stephen, though, for whatever reason. I rather liked him more, because of the cold cerebral thing he had going, though Jack was very affable, and there was really rather a small difference between how much I liked either of them.

Stephen is, I think, more easy to romanticize. You can make him into Rochester without too much trouble, in much te same way you can Snape. Now Jack can never be Rochester. but I'd still rather have him :)

That's true. I've noticed that sexually and/or emotionally unavailable/distant male characters tend to have big female followings.

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