Reading

(no subject)

The Trump administration’s NSS announces a dramatic reworking of the foreign policy the U.S. has embraced since World War II.

And that's not the most alarming thing about it.

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i read things

Seeking recommendations for puberty books that are fat-positive

I just read The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls by Valorie Lee Schaefer for content, focusing on a few things, but primarily ovulation and eating disorders. It doesn't mention ovulation, and while the eating disorder section itself is fine, I wasn't impressed with the overall section on food, and there were other parts of this book that really rubbed me wrong, especially the emphasis on smiling. It's weirdly anti-salt and doesn't seem to believe that insomnia exists.

This book kept making me think "this would be great to use in some kind of dissertation on a very specific culture that this came out of, telling the young girls in this culture how best to grow up to be women." The examples alone of what concerns they thought the girls had about their bodies and their social interactions (they all seem to have very mean friends and want larger breasts, except for the one girl with large breasts, whose friends all dropped her for being ugly and fat. No one is actually fat in this book. Also their bra size chart doesn't go above 36D; people thinking that breasts can't possibly be beyond that was the source of a great many problems in my life, and I kept thinking, while reading this book, that this book would have been negatively helpful to me in my actual experience of puberty.)

So.

Does anyone have recommendations for "what to expect when you're expecting to go through puberty" that are fat-positive? You know, something like "it's very genetic and it's not because you ate too much junk food"?

And is more honest about period pain, and mentions -- at the very least -- ovulation. And that you can get back pain from your breasts.

And also -- okay, there were a bunch of things in this book that made me go "this is the opposite of helpful, I understand why you think it's helpful, but trust me, while you're not contributing to the problem, you're also not helping."

But really, the fat-positive thing would be helpful, and also more realistic about numbers on scales, please and thank you.

(And maybe ones that don't assume everyone has a mom???? I'm just. I'm just. This book is so oddly heteronormative for a book that has nothing in it about dating.)

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Miss Moneypenny - Placebo

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on the first roll of the dice

I was so glad to log off last night and put a period on this work week. This morning, I had to be up for the cleaning service at 9 am, and they told me the company is closing, but the team who has been cleaning my place for the last 7 years is going out on their own and wants to keep me as a client, so I will get in touch with them in the new year to set up the new arrangement. I hope it all goes smoothly!

I also made another 2 lbs of candied pecans, so I have six jars filled and have to wash the other jars so they can also be filled.

Then I took a nap that felt way longer than it was, and so even though it's only like 8:20 I keep thinking it's 11:30 pm or something. Time is so weird.

*

Current Mood: amused

a comedic interlude

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knotts

2025 Knott's Trip #3 (12/6/25)

Since I unfortunately didn't realize Disneyland reservations were going to be so hard to get this month and didn't think ahead, the earliest reservation we could get for after Carla got home from her trip is this Monday, so we decided to go to Knott's today and check out their Christmas stuff.

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!admin

Additional Guideline

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daf yomi

[Daf Yomi] Zevachim perek 6-8

My notes on these. Still not much to say but it's been, quite frankly, better than Nashim.

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Current Mood: amused

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carolyn hax

Update to a fustercluck

[Originally posted in chat; I have added paragraphs for readability]

My brother has organized an ill-advised surprise party for my father's 75th birthday.

Our father is a complete introvert and also very exacting. He likes things to be a certain way, and gets tense and angry if everything is not perfectly to his taste. He hates loud places and large groups of people. Unfortunately, he's always used excessive alcohol to handle social engagements and gets belligerent when drunk.

Because of all of this, I was surprised when my brother, "James" told me that he'd planned a surprise birthday party of 30 guests for my dad at a new restaurant. The guest list includes the following extremely awkward confirmed attendees: our aunt (dad's semi-estranged sister) who is an overbearing religious fanatic none of us can stand; our mother (dad's ex-wife) who is resented by our dad and hated by our aforementioned aunt because of the divorce; and a number of neighbors who our dad has been feuding with off and on for the last 20 years.

I asked my mom why she was going along with this and she said James called in a big favor she owed him and she felt like she couldn’t say no, so he’s pulling out all the stops to make this happen.

I don't know how James could possibly think this is a good idea, except that he has a huge ego and believes this will be some fairy tale reunion where everyone will suddenly make nice. I don't mean that James is a bad guy but he has a tendency to steamroll over people and do things "for their own good." Every argument I've made against this party has prompted him to lecture me and act like he knows so much better because he's 7 years older than me.

It's true that my Dad can be difficult but I don't want him to feel ambushed on his birthday. If James keeps refusing to cancel should I warn my dad? Or do I just kick back with a glass of wine and watch the drama unfold?

( response and update )

Current Mood: angry

a political interlude

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Deth of Siv, etc

What is this that this thing is, when, okay, one is aware of all the woozing and grumbling about the various delivery services, but here is the ROYAL MAIL being pretty bad.

Yesterday I had an email saying they had delivered a parcel.

There was no parcel.

I looked at the proof of delivery and behold, that was Not Our Front Door they were sticking it through, it was the wrong colour and one could see the corner of a glass panel (ours is solid wood).

So I went on to their site to try and delve a bit further and, my dears, it is HORRENDOUS, one suspects it is designed to make people Just Give Up.

For example, the 'contact us' link, that actually goes to a 'Help and Support' page that lists a whole range of possible contingencies that one has to sort through to discover one that matches the occasion.

And once I had come across the Advice relating to item (presumably) misdelivered to wrong address, advice was, to contact the sender.

I have no bloody idea who the sender was being as how I was not even expecting a Royal Mail delivery, have been back over my emails and texts and no, I did not receive any previous message involving that particular tracking code.

There is a passing allusion to possible scanning errors.

The only means of contacting them is by phone, and when I tried, and had made my way through the menu options, the wait to speak to a person was 50 minutes.

I am leaving all this pro tem in case a) it was misdelivered and gets put back into the system b) it never actually existed in the first place.

But, really.

And in other, perhaps more minor (?) annoyances of Modern Life, what is this thing that this thing is of 'Cooking Instructions on Back of Label'? that you then have to detach, in the hope that it will actually come off in one piece that one can actually decipher....

ETA Parcel has now turned up, either in today's post or popped through letter box by neighbour to whom it was delivered in error.... Is friend's book I was in anticipation of.

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ice hockey

Off to Oxford

I'm playing for Cambridge Womens Blues against Oxford Womens Blues tonight. My BUIHA stats page tells me this will be my second game for Cambridge WBs against Oxford WBs, hopefully it goes better than the last one three years ago. None of my teammates from that game are playing today, although five of the Oxford women are the same (and one of those five was on my Biarritz tournament team this summer).

My stats page also tells me that I have scored more points against Cambridge Huskies than for them (1 is more than 0), and that two of my current teammates were my opponents in my WBs v Huskies game three years ago. I have no memory of either of them in that game.

The Womens Blues game is immediately followed by a matchup between the Mens Blues teams, so I'm looking forward to watching that, before we all pile on the coach back to Cambridge.

(no subject)

Happy birthday,

gillo and

laughingrat!

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tv:stranger things

Stranger Things 5x01-04

We finally got around to watching the first Stranger Things new episode drop! Somehow I had remained completely and utterly unspoiled for it, to the extent of having even forgotten that there was a new season until suddenly a post with "stranger things spoilers" arrived on my Tumblr dash and I immediately blocked the tag. So I knew literally nothing.

( Random spoilers in no particular order )

Weekly chat reminder

Please join us for the weekly TS chat on Saturday, December 6th, at 7 pm Greenwich Mean Time (GMT)/19:00 UTC. That could be as early as 11 am if you’re on the west coast of North America, or 2 pm if you’re on the east coast, or 7 pm in the UK, or Sunday morning in Australia or New Zealand.

We’re in the usual place: http://us25.chatzy.com/81935648447483. There’s nothing to download or install, just choose a name and a color and click on “join chat.”

Normally our first Saturday of the month is an episode watch, but I’m postponing that to next week. So for this week, the topic is: were there other signs (besides what we know from Remembrance) of Jim’s sentinel senses in childhood?

Also, the 20^th year of TS Secret Santa is underway! You can find all the collections here: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/2025_TheSentinel_Secret_Santa/collections

Enjoy!

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links

Links: Nora Samaran's new post

Nora Samaran made a new post! On Conflict and Community Fabric. When we value community, we work through conflicts with them not because the individual relationship is important to us, but because the whole community is important to us.

In healthy human community, the kind that so many people say they want, and the kind study after study suggests people living in Western countries feel is missing in their lives, human beings are often in community with people with whom we aren’t individually or personally close, but who nonetheless form part of the larger circle of human bonds that forms the anchor and soilbed of our belonging.

I'm not sure I had read her prior post from 2021, Coercive Persuasion and the Alignment of the Everyday. In it she mentions "How We Show Up" by Mia Birdsong, which I got from the library. I loved the book, about all the different ways we can weave connections with each other rather than focusing on isolated little nuclear families. And it turns out Mia Birdsong lives right here in Oakland! My review.

She also linked to Be careful with each other by Rushdia Mehreen and David Gray-Donald. "How activist groups can build trust, care, and sustainability in a world of capitalism and oppression."

Collective care refers to seeing members’ well-being – particularly their emotional health – as a shared responsibility of the group rather than the lone task of an individual. It means that a group commits to addressing interlocking oppressions and reasons for deteriorating well-being within the group while also combatting oppression in society at large.

I loved her article The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture and I can't believe that was back in 2016. Nine years ago! Anyway, it's great to keep someone's feed on the list even if it seems like they'll never post again, because sometimes they do!

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Fandom Fifty: #41

2015 - A decade ago! Oh right, I was dirt poor by the end of the year because I remember thinking I wasn't going to get to see the new Star Wars film in theater.

Furious 7 - So my late partner and I had fallen in love with this crew in the first movie. She LOVED Brian. And... well. Paul Walker died before completing this one. And then they released it on her anniversary with me. So Yeah. Saw it twice in theater.

Jurassic World - This looked interesting, was okay, but wife and I both had Issues with it. And then, of course, Pratt lived up to his name, and I let the franchise go away. Still kinda want to see the one with the original trio.

Carol - I don't do arthouse style films, I protest mightily. AND YET. I decided to see what the fuss was about, and FELL IN LOVE. Cate and Rooney sold the story. (and having read up about the author, wow it's toned down from the inspirations / she was a helluva bitch it looked like)

Star Wars: The Force Awakens - such characters! such potential! Shame they never made more after it to explore Finn and Rey and Poe in a way that highlighted EVERYTHING THAT MADE THEM INTERESTING! (It did however set me on the SW track of writing, so I can't complain too much)

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Daily Happiness

1. Carla's aunt let us know to be expecting a delivery of Lou Malnati's x Portillo's Italian beef pizzas. She's ordered their frozen pizzas for us for Christmas in the past and they're really good. (Carla has had them in person, but I never have.) Apparently they were having a deal on the 4 pizza package, so that's what she got. Good thing we've been working to clean out the freezer recently and should actually have room for four frozen pizzas.

2. So glad it's the weekend!

3. Carla took the car in this morning and they were able to find that the AC system has a leak, which is causing the issue of no AC but unable to determine yet where the leak is, so they still need to keep it at least for tomorrow. Hopefully it won't be as long as last time, but at least we have the other car.

4. The Playstation Portal came today and after three separate system updates and two controller updates, I got it set up and can now play from the comfort of my desk chair. :D

5. Molly was super playful and writhing around on my rug the other day. She's usually so calm and composed, so it's super cute to watch.

Chessboard Alignment

https://xkcd.com/3177/

Luckily, the range is limited by the fact that the square boundary lines follow great circles.

https://xkcd.com/3177/

Entry tags:

weekly reading

Weekly Reading

Recently Finished
The Treehouse Library
The Last Bookwanderer
Last two books in the Pages & Co series. I really enjoyed these books!

What Kind of Paradise
This was good enough but extremely predictable. A girl has been raised alone with her conspiracy theorist/isolationist father in the woods and told her mother died when she was a child. Then one day her father takes her on a trip with him and she finds out everything she knew was a lie. ( spoilers but I don't think anyone would be surprised )

Murder at the Orpheus Theatre
Fourth in the Tate and Bell series. This time I remembered not to get the audiobook because I don't really like the narrator, and it was a much more pleasant experience. The library doesn't have anything but the audiobooks, which is why I kept getting those, but I recently signed up for Kindle Unlimited, and these are on there, so I can read them for "free" that way.

Death of a Hollow Man
Second in the Midsomer Murder series. The beginning of this was verrrrrrry slow and the murder did not happen until well after the halfway point. I prefer my mysteries to get started with things sooner, but I did enjoy it well enough in the end.

The Witches of Silverlake vol. 1
Graphic novel about a group of queer teens who play at being witches but then suddenly supernatural stuff starts happening for real. I liked this okay. It did end on a huge cliffhanger, so if another volume is released at some point I will probably check it out. I couldn't find any info about further volumes, though.

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LadiesBingo: Sacrifice / Letting Go

AO3 link | Her Turn (300 words) by Merfilly
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer [TV]
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Relationships: Willow Rosenberg & Buffy Summers
Characters: Willow Rosenberg, Buffy Summers, Dawn Summers [Buffy & Angel Universe]
Additional Tags: Triple Drabble, Post-Canon
Summary:

Willow left a letter...

Her Turn

This one, it's not for you. You get that, right? This time, it's about me. It has to be me. You can't… you can't keep reaching. I know you love me. I know you would want to step up, to take my place. You've always been the one making the sacrifice. That's who you are, the One. You changed the game to begin with, and then when that wasn't enough, you changed the whole playing field.

Okay, maybe I had something to do with changing the gameboard up. But I was only able to do it because of you, because you had so much faith in me. I need you to have that faith in me now. I need you to be the stronger one, the one who has to live, to keep facing the evil.

Hopefully it won't be as bad, not once I do this.

All my love.

Dawn wasn't used to seeing her sister frail, not even after all the losses they had faced. She'd guessed, though, that this one might be the breaking point, and hurried to get to Buffy's side. She saw the paper crumpled in a fist, but ignored it, just turning her sister to hold her.

At first, Buffy was stiff. The grief broke to Dawn's coaxing, a howl of pain and denial. Dawn just held on, petting her hair, tears streaming on her own face.

"Maybe… maybe it didn't end her?" Dawn suggested once the crying gave way to the heavy silence.

Buffy pushed the crumpled paper to her sister, letting Dawn read Willow's own words. It made Dawn swallow hard, as the pain and finality gripped her all over again.

She couldn't give into it, though. Buffy needed her. Buffy had lost Willow, and Dawn needed to step up even more.